After an inspiring day of worship yesterday, today started out with confusion, anger, frustration, sadness, loneliness including tears on at least 3 occasions. How did one missing 8mm tape turn my life from recalling how blessed I am to one of close call depression?
Thankfully, I am married to a man who may not always understand my post 40, hate working on days my kids are home from school, exhausted, not ready for last semester of accounting classes to start this week, too much laundry, not enough money in the checking account to eat until Friday's payday emotional outburst. But, he loves me anyway. He's willing to spend time searching for the 8mm tape that contains the birth of his 4th daughter. And, he's understanding enough to not be furious when I hang up on him 3 times; even calling me back to reassure the insecure side of me, that has raised it's UGLY head today more than it has in months, that he does love me, need me and even that I complete him. He fed them so that the 7 yr old didn't feel like she was going to "starve." He made sure the teenager was at play practice and costume fittings on time today. He was there to pick her up when her knee got busted this evening, while I was still at the office fighting a computer that has updated 3 different software programs today.
About now you are probably thinking one of two things: 1) this gal is psycho or 2) I'm glad somebody else feels the same way.
I'm not psycho - just a bit overwhelmed at the moment. For now, I will type my thoughts and strive to recall that the LORD who has delivered me from cancer twice, stopped the blindness due to diabetes from advancing in my eyes for 13 years, enabled me to deliver 2 healthy children when doctors were less than optimistic, saved my husband's kidney when the urologist said, "I've never seen a kidney this infected continue to function" is the same JESUS who knew that I wasn't going to find that 8mm tape last night, that the computer at the office was going to have to update numerous software programs today, that the teenage daughter's play practice schedule was going to change AGAIN and that I was going to feel fat and overwhelmed today. Thankfully, my husband loves Jesus and they both love me...just as I am. That's what love is.
There's a classic country song that says, "close enough to perfect for me" - that's my husband. While I know he's not perfect, he's close enough to perfect for me. He found the 8mm tape with the birth of our daughter on it. Ironically, it had been labelled with what appears to be a green gel pen. Note - DO NOT label anything with a gel pen. It fades.
ReplyDelete